Rejoice

I'm going to be completely honest:
I am deliriously happy.

I have endured a really difficult four months since I got my mission call. This semester I went to school full time and worked full time.  I got the worst grades ever in my school career.  I dealt with a couple heartbreaks that I kept under wraps from a lot of people.  I lost a lot of sleep. After losing my car mid-semester, I have hardly any money saved for my mission.  In a little over a month, I will leave behind all of my friends and family for a year and a half to get rejected and hated, to discover even more of my weaknesses, and to feel frequently inadequate.

I am so incredibly, undeniably, happy. Truly!

A friend once pointed out to me that if scrambled my name spells, "Rejoyce." I don't think my parents ever realized that when they named me.  Despite all the challenges I've dealt with this semester, I cannot help but smile constantly and feel blessed.  I finally understand my youth and innocence, and instead of feeling too old, I know I am not yet grown up.

For me, a time without challenges can elicit complacency that stunts my growth. Heavenly Father knows that I need to be strong and courageous when I report, because He needs strong and courageous servants to represent Him and to teach about His Son.

Every one of those trials has a blessing attached to it. I still come home from every shift thinking that I have the greatest job. Not only have my heartbreaks allowed me to be single and still eligible for the mission (haha), but I will also have the chance to meet that right man later, when I am more the person I want to be. The good experiences will far outnumber the bad. I will bless lives and learn and grow. I will come home a better person than when I left.

One of my favorite passages of scripture is Alma 26 in the Book of Mormon. The missionaries have faced trial after trial and suffered defeat many times. But Ammon starts the chapter by saying, "How great reason have we to rejoice; for could we have supposed when we started from the land of Zarahemla that God would have granted unto us such great blessings?" He lists all the blessings that have come throughout that time.  He praises the Lord and is overcome with joy for all the good that has happened. Then his brother Aaron scolds him, telling him he's getting carried away and is boasting. Ammon gives a memorable reply:

"I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God. Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things...therefore have we not great reason to rejoice?"

He says that no natural man knows how great God's mercy is and how much He blesses His children. In order to recognize God's hand, a person must repent, exercise faith, do good works, and pray unceasingly. I've done a lot of that this semester, and that's why I have the same perspective as Ammon.

I feel that there never was a girl that had as great a reason to rejoice as I, and my joy is carried away unto boasting unto God for He has all power, wisdom, and understanding, He comprehends everything, and He is merciful (v.35).  Having faith in him has brought me joy because I've let Him lead me, and His direction has brought me greater happiness than I could have found for myself. Struggling has helped me draw closer to my Savior.

Christmas is a week away, and all month I have been celebrating. I rejoice in the Savior who came to Earth and lived the perfect life.  So, even if your Christmas season has crappy days and long nights, don't forget to rejoice. Because God has it all figured out for you.