Are You Still Alive?

Are You Still Alive?

This is the question we silently ask our baby girl when we realize she has been asleep for 7 hours straight. 8 hours. 9 hours. Indeed, she decided to give us the gift of sleep that night by herself sleeping. "Is she sleeping through the night?" Is the number one (and sometimes ONLY) question we get asked now. Since I guess it is apparently a burning question, the answer is, "Sometimes." But there's a more important question.

Are You Still Alive?

This is the question I ask my husband after a long day of work. I married a superstar. He jumps right into parenting after his workday, and even though I am no longer working he still gets up with me in the middle of the night to help feed her. He is the definition of teamwork, and I am so grateful to have him by my side. He is the better parent, too, although he would argue that.

Are You Still Alive?

The question I ask myself every day. Am I making it? The answer is always yes, and I'm sure I don't give myself enough credit. As a recovering PPA (Post Partum Anxiety) momma, I'm trying to be kind to myself and remember that Baby is healthy and happy. I can't believe we made it through three months with this little turkey. She simultaneously drives us nuts and makes us crack up laughing. We love her quirks and her budding personality. Since I haven't really posted much of anything since she was born, here are a few recent highlights.

Our photographer came back, and this time we got some great shots with our Hosanna Rae.

 

Zanna got to meet more of her family, including her Grandpa Dave (not to be confused with her great-Grandpa Dave, whom she also met) on the weekend of her baby blessing, October 9. 

My mom came into town for 2.5 weeks to watch Zanna while I went back to work.

Zanna-doo's first Halloween as a pumpkin.

Zanna's new favorite hobby: walks with daddy. Especially because he bundles her up so cute.

 

 

Our new conclusion that Z should basically wear yellow every day.

Zanna "meeting" her Auntie Janae (Scott's sister):

And Zanna filling our home with her first source of music: her adorable giggle. (See Scott's Instagram/Facebook post today with the proof).

Are You Still Alive?

Yes we are still alive, and we are doing okay. It hasn't gotten too much easier, but it's gotten a lot better. 

"It Comes Naturally"

To avoid the façade of looking put-together, I want to set the record straight.

Let's start with the darling newborn photos Scott and I just shared.
Our poor photographer was at our house for 4 hours waiting for Hosanna to fall asleep for the shots.

She never did.

The photographer snapped a few pics with Scott before he finally had to leave for work. Zanna was basically screaming the rest of the time. It's a genuine miracle that we got a few perfect shots in those 4 hours. If she looks like she's sleeping, she's not. She was blinking. Or momentarily lulled by the hair dryer. We didn't get any pictures of the three of us together.

They say that being a mom comes naturally. I had no experience with babies growing up. I babysat probably three times in my whole life and had no little siblings, cousins, or nieces/nephews to practice with. They said, "Don't worry! You will instinctively know what to do once you become a mom."

False.

I still have to be coached on how to change a diaper, how to hold a baby and support her head, and how to dress/undress her. I have yet to tackle bathing her by myself. When she cries I ask my mom or Scott why she's crying. She falls asleep better in basically everyone's arms but mine.

Zanna hates bows.

They say that breastfeeding comes naturally. Your baby will know how to latch, and your body will just "know" what to do and how much milk to produce for your baby....the whole demand/supply thing.

False.

They say you can train your baby to sleep through the night and have restful naps during the day, as long as she gets a full feeding every time. False. They should have written an alternate "Baby Wise" book for babies with colic, tummy issues, and an extremely stubborn and independent temperament.

They say you're a bad parent if you co-sleep or let baby sleep on her tummy, or formula feed her, or let her nurse to pacify, or [insert opinion here], etc.

Just remember that all babies are different, parents are even more different, and you have to figure out what works best for you.

They say that being a mom comes naturally. It does not. You are thrown into the steepest learning curve of your life, and you are basically forced to figure everything out. I think even loving our baby did not happen immediately, as we were exhausted and shocked and delirious thinking, Is this what parenthood is?

They say it is all worth it:

True.